Find Joy Daily
The big power of little actions and finding 'lagom'
Some say that comparison is the thief of joy—and it’s usually true. It can rob you of any sense of accomplishment or happiness by pulling you out of your present moment and thrusting you into someone else’s reality.
I reflect on this often as I navigate my new life in America after living abroad for eight years. The weather, the culture, the proverbial “lay of the land” – each represents a unique adjustment. It’s easy to scroll social media and miss my old life, a form of grief that can honor the experience but still acknowledge my new journey.
Amidst these transitions, I find solace in understanding what I need daily to cultivate even the tiniest spark of joy. No matter how challenging my day may be, if I accomplish X, Y, or Z—even just one of those things—I can still emerge with a sense of success at the end of the day.
As humans, we are evolutionarily designed to prioritize the negative experiences in our lives. Our ancestral relatives remind us that remembering danger is key to survival. In today’s modern world, however, we aren’t facing wild beasts; we’re just reacting to a stressful email or a conversation with “Chad” from HR.
It’s my Darwinian instinct to help us evolve in our pursuit of happiness and to cherish it more deeply.
There’s a wonderful Swedish term that captures this sentiment—*Lagom*. While it doesn't translate perfectly into English, it embodies the essence of “just right.” This Goldilocks perspective reminds us that happiness doesn’t always stem from grand gestures; rather, it resides in the small, everyday actions and interactions that contribute to our fulfillment.
For me, these simple joys include:
- Daily movement—whether it’s a trip to the gym or a leisurely walk
- Coffee in any form; exploring local cafés or the meditative practice of brewing my own.
- Engaging with others, even in brief encounters.
- Immersing myself in a book. (bonus points for spending time at the library, my favorite free resource since being back home!)
- Journaling for my day ahead or at the end of my day- reflection always helps, and so does getting some thoughts on paper.
- Helping others- whether that’s with a conversation or teaching or anything in between.
I emphasize “helping people” at the end of this list because I believe that work or work-related quests—whether self-directed or otherwise—can still bring joy. However my aim is not to define or rely on work for these things. The purpose of my lagom list is to focus on actions that ignite happiness, distinct from any professional obligations.
While this list might expand over time, these small practices tilt my perspective toward joy. In a world where doomscrolling and judgment often overshadow our view of others, it’s vital to remember that most people are simply doing their best with the tools they possess (thank you, Brené Brown).
I’m not a mental health professional, and I acknowledge that some feelings of despair aren’t resolved through a brief walk outside.* Nonetheless, I’ve found that a difficult day can improve even slightly just from engaging in at least one activity from my lagom list of joy.
So as the days continue and I keep trying to settle into a rhythm during this new phase in my life, joy will always remain. What’s on your list? Can you try to do one thing that helps shift the day in a positive direction? I sure hope so.
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* A great resource for support is The Scatter Joy Project, offering free/reduced-cost mental healthcare. Check them out.